Christmas in Oz

Hello and Season's Greetings to one and all! What "Season" is that, I hear you ask? Why, summer, of course!

So, Christmas in Melbourne has been an interesting time, which was expected. But it was interesting in different ways that we had expected. For instance, we imagined that we'd be sitting on the beach, drinking beer or sipping champagne in our bathing suits while watching the sun set over the horizon, laughing at the sounds of "Let it Snow" and "Winter Wonderland" playing in the background.

Not so much.

Sadly, it's been a chilly summer so far; the weather hasn't really been conducive to going to beach most days, and the evenings are consistently cool because there's very little humidity in Melbourne, so nothing holds the heat from the day into the evening. But it's not really cold either (although apparently it did snow two years ago at Christmas in the local mountain range!) so the music isn't exactly weather-appropriate.

The weirdest thing has been the Christmas decorations; they are all over the place in the shopping centres but the homes aren't so crazily decorated as they are in the US. Christmas is only a few days after summer solstice; the sun doesn't set until 9:30pm! What in the world do you need lights for?

We met up with a couple friends from Perth who are now living in NC and came home for the holidays, and they said that after spending time in the northern hemisphere, they "get" the whole concept of Christmas decorations much more because there's so little sunlight that you need all those lights and colorful decorations to brighten everything up. It really makes sense. Here they are kind of pointless.

That said, we did opt to buy a live pine Christmas tree. I will give you a run-down of the process of discussing, buying, decorating, and disposing of a live tree in Australia vs. the US.


Live vs Fake Tree Discussion
US (at least among people I know): sure, fake trees exist and some are very beautiful, but in general people prefer a live tree because it smells nice and it's real and it's traditional. So the discussion usually revolves around whether to get a Douglas Fir or a Pine, or how someone grew up with a fake tree and then one day s/he couldn't take it anymore and bought a real one.
Australia (at least among people I know): the concept of putting a live tree into someone's house is a bit strange. There are plenty of people who do buy live trees, but fake trees are far more common. Australians are pretty laid-back people who don't tend to pass judgment on other peoples' lifestyle choices, but there were times when I could just hear them thinking "crazy foreigners" when we asked where would be the best place to buy a live tree. Which brings us to...

Live Tree Purchase
US: first you buy a tree stand for about $8 (maybe $15 if you want a really posh one or you have a particularly big tree) from some place like Kmart or Wal-Mart or Home Depot, and then you walk outside to the parking lot of said store which will inevitably have a Christmas tree sales lot. Alternatively, you can go to your preferred charity to buy the tree and support them. Once on the lot, you look for anywhere between 30 minutes and 2 hours, depending on your own tree-related OCD level, until you find the "perfect" tree... "perfect" meaning stands up straight, is full and bushy, doesn't have any obvious holes making the trunk visible, is basically in the shape of a triangle, has a top that will allow a star or angel to sit happily, and doesn't cost a freakin' fortune. Once you have selected the Perfect Tree, you inform one of the assistants who is happy to sell you the item, ask if you'd like to donate any extra to the charity, just for shits and giggles, and then puts the tree on your stand until it stands on its own without leaning, to your satisfaction. Then they wrap it in that plastic stuff, tie it to the top of your car with a protective velour underneath, all of which they have provided, wish you well and tell you Merry Christmas as you leave.

Australia: First, you call every Bunnings (the Aussie equivalent of Home Depot, complete with "sausage stand" outside) in a 10 mile radius to find that they have sold out of Christmas tree stands even though everyone you had talked to beforehand about the live tree thought you were a lunatic for wanting one. Well, apparently we were one of many lunatics in the area because tree stands were hard to come by. Then you call every major supermarket chain, Target, and K-Mart who all tell you (rather incredulously), "no, you have to buy the whole tree" -- the stand comes attached to the fake tree, of course, is what they mean, and how could you possibly be so stupid as to ask for a stand on its own? What the hell would you need one of those for?

So you decide that you'll look for the tree first, and lo and behold, there's a place near you that sells them for charity. GREAT! And when you get there, you ask if they sell stands as well, and yay! They do! So you tell the gentleman that you are in the market for a tree, and immediately he grabs the closest one to you which is 12 feet tall and asks if that one will do. Well, no sir, we were thinking of something a bit smaller. He points to the three foot trees. You ask for a six-footer. He shows you a six-foot tree that kind of leans funny and has a big hole in the side and gruffly asks if that will be fine. Because you're scared to request to see others, you say yes and buy the tree. Since you foolishly assumed that they would wrap the tree up for you and attach it to the hood of your car (after all, they do have the plastic tree-wrapping machine there) you don't bring anything like rope. Well, they don't have it either, so the gentleman kindly shoves it into your car -- without wrapping it up first. As you go inside to pay, you notice that the cheapest tree stand costs $45. I don't f****ing think so, you say to yourself. The next day you find a stand for $25 at another tree market.

Decorating a Live Tree:
US: you buy about 500 lights, 100 balls, and various and sundry random decorations. You put everything on the tree until it looks like some sort of fire hazard, albeit a beautiful one, because you need as many lights as possible to make it look festive and all the balls need to reflect the lights to make the tree look even more festive. You top it with an angel that lights up with the other lights. Oh, all the strands of lights are designed so that you can plug one end into the other until you get to the bottom, and then plug it into the wall
Australia: you buy 300 lights but only put 100 on because that's really all you need, and because you realise that there isn't the "plugging into the other light strand" option and you don't have a spare power strip lying around. You also attach 36 balls and about 10 random decorations. Then you shove a star onto the top and call it a day. At 9:30 every night, you turn the lights on for half an hour. It sure is beautiful though.


Disposing of a Live Tree:
US: at some point in January, you decide you've had enough of the tree and you take it down. You put it outside next to the curb and one day it's gone.

Australia: at some point in January, you decide you've had enough of the tree and you take it down. You notice that nobody is putting their live trees outside of their houses next to the curb, so you call the City Council who informs you that there is no pick-up of live trees, and you have to take it to the "transfer station" yourself to have it disposed of. Naturally, you pay a fee for this privelege but it's not a hefty one. You still have no rope, so you have to put the tree back into the car AGAIN (shortly after you cleaned it from last time) but you do remember that you have a covering that you can wrap it in. You drive down the road toward this transfer station with a large item in your car resembling something out of a CSI-type program, and you can't see out the rear view mirror either.

Cultural norms. Good times :)